1.01.2016

[2016.]

ringing in a new year always makes me feel compelled to say something profound about the outgoing year and something hopeful and wise about the incoming one. i don't have anything profound to say about 2015...i honestly just feel proud for having survived it, for having shared my life with a tiny human whom i taught a few things and managed to keep alive for almost three solid years now. i'm still married to my husband of 14 years and we still like each other (almost all the time, even!) and i think that's an accomplishment, too.

on the downside, i feel like i've dropped the ball in a lot of areas of life:

not that i ever had much of a social life before sailor came along, but it is completely non-existent now. by the time i get the tot to bed, all i want to do is put on sweats and think about absolutely nothing and probably watch netflix and maybe stay up until 10 if i'm feeling crazy.

i also used to write and think actual thoughts. my daughter is my full-time job now. i no longer dress up in librarian-chic clothes, put on my professer-ly glasses, and head onto campus to teach english and communication classes at the local junior college. i miss it deeply. i miss using a part of my brain that's getting dusty up on a shelf while i play play-doh and hold up my daughter's hair because she's afraid she'll pee on it when she uses the potty. i know that i'll teach again and that this time with a tiny babe at home is short-lived. i know all of that, but at the same time, i feel like i could continue to exercise that part of my brain by writing and keeping the fire burning bright somewhere in the corners of that brain that i'll hopefully one day use again.

i know i'm still a newbie mom, but i feel like i'll get to a place where i know what the hell i'm doing and can balance all parts of life again. it's a matter of time before i'm wifing, momming, teaching, writing, gardening, cooking, yogaing, and mastering all of them.... right? right.

so i guess my goal, my resolution, for 2016 is just that...balance. i want to give equal parts of focus and energy to all of the things in life that i enjoy, and to working, and most of all to myself and my family. i only have this one life and there are so many ways i want to fill it...one of those ways is right here in this little blog. so this is where i'm starting. check back in another year and a half and we'll see if i've managed to make any progress.

happy new year, other humans. make the very most of it.


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