[teacher of the year.]

I had my semster-ly observation at work today.. that's where the administrator comes into the classroom and watches the teacher teach, makes notes on what you're doing right, what you're doing wrong, and gives you pointers on what you can do better.

It was terrible.



Usually I'm totally on my game. I have my agenda, I've worked out my plan and know exactly what should be happening each and every minute of each and every class period.

Today, well, let's just say nothing went according to plan.

I was nervous to begin with... knowing that someone will be scrutinizing your every move can be unnerving. I happen to put an enormous amount of pressure on myself on a normal day so you can imagine what it's like on a special day, a day when I know I have to be better than normal.

I managed to get class started- everyone was present, accounted for, and in their seats. The agenda was clearly posted on the overhead projector, attendance was taken, and the lesson was off to a good start.

Then the fire alarm went off.


As if I wasn't already a nervous wreck... I had to hustle all the students out of the building, keep track of them outside, wait patiently on the curb with them and the rest of the student body while the pretend fire was put out and, once the drill was over, I had to make sure all the kids made it back to the classroom. At that point, I attempted to get everyone back on track with the lesson.

FAT CHANCE!!! My brain was all out of whack, I couldn't remember where we'd left off, I got cotton-mouth and started sounding all smacky when I talked... and I even misspelled a word on the overhead projector. (The word was "learn"... I misspelled the word LEARN!!!) OH GAWD.

Oh, and did I mention I lost a kid? Yeah, one of my students never came back to class after the fire drill. I'm pretty sure I won't be winning any awards for that.

(I'm an a-hole idiot.)


RassKull said...

Holli, we all have those days! I can definitely relate to you feeling like that, as I've made some serious blunders in my life. It's like when I am on stage in front of everyone, and I think too much about it and forget all the lyrics while Greg laughs at me... also I would say you certainly didn't lose a kid - teenagers are sneaky, and if they want to elude you and sneak off there's probably not much you can do about it. Hold your head up high, and look at your overall track record, which I'm sure is very impressive! I'm sure the administrator will do another sit-in, as it wouldn't be fair to judge you based on a fire-drill day. Plus, I can also bet that they went through the same type of thing when they were younger!

I've heard first hand from your students about what kind of teacher you are, and the last thing they would ever say about you is that you are an idiot. I hope when my kids are old enough, Ms. Herrera will be there to 'learn' them hehe (pun intended and yes I know that is improper english lol) =]

Miss Rosi said...

Don't worry, we all have our off days... especially when being watched. Trust me!
I'm a school bus driver and had one of our office staff riding with me all week, right before our holiday break.
We're supposed to stop at the railroad crossings EVERY TIME we have someone on board. I must have forgotten at least once a day until Thursday.
I didn't get fired over it (thankfully) despite it being a state law. I'm sure they'll have some grace with you considering the circumstances.

Jen said...

this sounds remarkably similar to the way i perform when i have to tape and then watch my therapy sessions with my supervisor.

i'm amazed they let me keep working there.

i feel your pain!

Carman Miranda said...

After more than 30 years of "on the job" teacher training, I can tell you my sweet Holli that we all get the cotton mouth and feel like a fool when we are "on stage" teaching for visiting adults... whoever they are. I have had parents come in and hold their baby's hand in my 8th grade class and that is much more intimidating and worrisome than the administrators. THEY have all been there and if they are GOOD administrators they know what that fire drill did to those kids and KNOW that you did not loose a student... he or she WANDERED away on purpose.. especially the older variety. I have "lost" kids and it was on their back NOT mine. You are a great teacher and as badly as you think you did, I am sure the administrator was impressed with your skills. AND don't worry about misspelling a word. I TEACH science and had it misspelled on my board in two places LAST YEAR! I can attribute mine to OLD age but I don't think that will wash.. I was probably being interrupted 50 times by little darlings when I was trying to write it up there! Education "people", if there for the right reason. are just there to help you...not find something wrong. Don't worry about it... I always have a mess going on when they come to observe me...it is kids we work with, and they too are affected by those other adults being in the room.

ohhellocupcake said...

thanks, guys! at least i can laugh about it now... or maybe tomorrow. yes, i'm sure i'll be able to laugh about the whoooole thing tomorrow. : )

ohhellocupcake said...

I'm so hard on myself when I ''mess up''. I just can't seem to understand that it's okay make mistakes. It takes a toll on me, and isn't as bad as I make it seem. I'm sure you'll get another chance to prove yourself!