7.14.2009

[kids..and i'm not talking about goats.]

i could probably list 100 reasons why i don't want to have kids:

childbirth.  people say that you forget all about the pain as soon as you see your sweet little baby's angel face...  that's bs.  i do not forget pain.

mastitis.  speaking of pain.  i've heard stories from women who've experienced this and i don't particularly like the idea of feeling like someone sliced my boob open and poured broken glass inside.

they cost $75,485,349,008,578.00 (maybe more.)

you have to keep them for around 18 years.. even then, some of them leave and come back, leave and come back again, then leave and make you support them while they go out and follow their dreams until they're 40 and an embarrassment to everyone who knows them.  

seriously.  i could go on all night.

people have asked me since mike and i got married when we're planning on having children.  truth is, we're not.  and when you get right down to the heart of it, it has nothing to do with not wanting to bring more children into this god-forsaken world, or kids being too much work, blah, blah, blah.. it's just that we're not really into being parents.  

i feel like i'd be a great mom.  i do.  but i've never had that "i really want a baby" feeling.. and i'm not sure i ever will.  did you hear that, world?  i said i'm not sure.  that means i could potentially wake up tomorrow morning and hear my biological clock ticking away and feel the need to be impregnated.  i'm hoping it won't, but it COULD happen.  until i feel it--  the need, the calling, whatever-- i will not be having any babies.  

please don't misunderstand.  this is about ME.  if YOU have the desire to have children i have no problem with that. good, loving, and responsible parents are what the world needs more of.  but, take it from me, birth control is an amazing thing.  be honest with yourself and if you're not ready for kids, use it.  and, please, don't get self-righteous and say your religion doesn't condone using birth control.  if you're using ANY method of birth control, you're just as much of a sinner as the rest of us.

but that's another blog.

7 comments:

Jen said...

birth control is a girl's best friend.

Good for you for posting this! Choosing not to have kids is every bit as important as choosing TO have them and if you're not sure and don't really feel the "call" then don't. A kid is a choice you can't undo and from that moment on you are a parent FOREVER.

I am gonna start praying right now that my possible future children all move out and support themselves (before 40).

write the birth control blog next. i wanna read it!

skylana said...

hahahaha THE BEST. too bad i didn't think of this stuff about 3 years ago!

JUST kidding.... kind of.

i will say... you DO forget the pain of childbirth.... not that this makes any argument for having kids... but you do. you dont forget that it was the worst pain you've ever felt, that i know, i just dont remember what the worst pain i've ever felt.. feels like. and i didn't forget when i saw their faces... it took A WHILE.

i do love my kids, because they are already here, i can't look at them and not want them obviously. but i know i'm not the kind of person who would have had kids had i truly realized that was MY choice. everything happens for a reason i suppose and they have saved my marriage about 30 billion times.... but i have to say i envy you for being able to make that choice, and for being taught you had it. i probably sound like the most cynical person in the world but kids are insane, nothing i would wish on another person.... yes they are great too... but its debatable which is more, the good or the bad...

enjoying other peoples kids that you like is, to me, the best option.

i fully support you never having kids ;)

Alicia said...

Your choice to not have children is none of my business, nor is it anyone else's, but I am going to respond to your comment about religion. I can only speak from my experience with the Catholic Church (because I am not entirely sure about the beliefs of all other religions). Keep in mind that I was raised Protestant, which means that I was taught, and believed, that contraception was acceptable--so I have been on "the other side."

The Catholic Church's stance on "birth control" is very commonly misunderstood--in fact, I have yet to hear of any non-Catholic who understands. We, as Catholics, do not believe that "birth control" is bad. It is "contraception" that we disagree with. Here's why:

We believe that marriage is a Sacrament, or an outward, visible sign of an inward, invisible grace. Marriage between a man and a woman is symbolic of the marriage between Jesus and the Church. We believe that entering into a marriage means that the man and the woman have entered freely and unconditionally (marriage is indissoluble and there are no conditions, such as "I'll only stay married if..."), they will remain faithful to the other (no extramarital affairs, lusting after others, pornography, etc), and they are open to children. The first sexual union between a husband and a wife is the consummation of their marriage, or the point at which the vows are "perfected, sealed, and brought to completion," (I feel the need for an official citation here, but I'll leave it with the author's name: Christopher West). And every union after that is a renewal of those vows. This means that every sexual union between the husband and wife is free and unconditional, faithful (so no lusting after someone else while engaging in sex with one's spouse), and open to children. Contraception prevents the last condition from being met. However, the 2,009-year-old Catholic Church is not stupid. Not every married couple is at a point in their lives where they can afford to take care of a child, or additional children. This is where natural family planning (NFP) comes in. Birth control? Yes. Contraception? No. NFP does not prevent openess to children. The couple simply chooses not to engage in sex during her fertile time. Some people find this difficult to understand, but the beauty of the situation is that we are not animals. We, as humans, have the ability to refrain from sex. The couple who has uncontracepted sex during her non-fertile time is still open to children, and will accept any "accidental" child that might come along.

I have barely skimmed the surface on the topic of marriage (and I am in no way an expert on the topic), but my point was to clear up the misinterpretation of what the Catholic Church believes about birth control.

Let me end this by saying that I do not sit around and think bad thoughts about the people I know who use contraception.

ohhellocupcake said...

thanks for the comments, everyone...i LOVE the feedback!

Anonymous said...

But what about the triplets?!!!?

-Briana

ohhellocupcake said...

i meant i'm not having any kids EXCEPT the triplets that judy's psychic predicted in my future. i can't WAIT.

Tiffany said...

Every once and a while I go back and read this post because it reminds me that my husband and I aren't the only ones that feel this way. Thanks for posting this and making me feel less alone when it comes to not being sure about kids.