8.18.2008

[getting even.]



i can't STAND my neighbors. i don't even know who they are, really.. but i know i can't stand them. i've seen maybe nine different people who cycle in and out of the house. i'm not sure who actually lives there and who is just "hanging out" although i'm pretty sure the ones who bring their sleeping bags with them don't really live there. what i DO know is that they're all navy people, mostly guys, and there's one girl who sometimes has a dog with her. poor dog.

i started hating them when they started parking their cars (all 6 of them) in front of my house. now, don't get me wrong, i understand that it's a public street and anyone can park wherever they want but these jerks have PLENTY of parking at their house. for example, the street directly in front of their house is always empty while MINE is always full of their cars. they also have a carport and HUGE driveway in back of their house that is always suspiciously vacant.

at any rate, i came up with a genius plan. i waited until they parked in front of my house with their windows down.. and i turned my sprinklers on. in my mind their cars would fill up with water and float away. that didn't happen but i'm pretty sure their seats got wet and that made me happy.

the next thing they did to make me crazy was throw trash in my yard. at first it was just a cigarette butt here and there which is rude and ridiculous but it didn't make me wish really bad things on them. then, one day, i walked out on the deck and hank was out there with something in his mouth. i had to chase him around the yard and hold his mouth open to get it from him. what fell out was the remnants of a firecracker and poor hank had the gunpowder stuff all in his little mouth. i looked around and found a few more of them and started plotting more revenge, most of them involving the use of dog poo.

all of these things were trivial in comparison to what happened yesterday. my friend and i came home from garage saling to find a dog tied up in the jerk's front yard. it was all tangled up around a bush, crying. there was a water bowl across the yard from it, which it couldn't get to and it was one of the hottest days of the year. now, if you know me, you know i have a serious soft spot when it comes to animals. they're helpless and we're supposed to take care of them.. and that CLEARLY was not happening in this case. i went over to the neighbors house and banged on their door for a few minutes and no one answered. i could hear a tv playing through an opened bedroom window and what sounded like someone moving around in there so i walked over and started yelling through the window. i told them they need to come take care of their dog or i was going to call animal control and then i added a very nice... term of endearment.. at the end.

i did call animal control and reported the animal tied up in the front yard as well as the other dog they have there that constantly is breaking free and running for the hills. i can't blame the poor thing but we can't have it running around the neighborhood either so i usually just put it back in their yard.

long story short... i hate my neighbors. any advice is welcome... and if it involves using dog poo in any form of revenge, even better.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

damn girl you've got a situation, i though i had a problem with the godzilla dog escaping from my neighbors next door and pissing all over my yard and fence and taking shits all over my yard, but you"ve stepped in up like ten notches, I would say call animal control but ...you already did, I had to as well.....when i was a kid and had to pick up the dog shit i would throw it over the fence into the neighbors yard when no one was watching becasue those kids would cuss at my brother and i all the time, lol! hmmmm i know there it a far more devious plan I'll let you know lol! hope you and the hubby are well, miss you two damn its been like 5 years

xina13 said...

btw I posted the comment above oopS! ( its christina old halo friendlies drummer lol)

xina13 said...

damn girl you've got a situation, i though i had a problem with the godzilla dog escaping from my neighbors next door and pissing all over my yard and fence and taking shits all over my yard, but you"ve stepped in up like ten notches, I would say call animal control but ...you already did, I had to as well.....when i was a kid and had to pick up the dog shit i would throw it over the fence into the neighbors yard when no one was watching becasue those kids would cuss at my brother and i all the time, lol! hmmmm i know there it a far more devious plan I'll let you know lol! hope you and the hubby are well, miss you two damn its been like 5 years

KatieRuley said...

What I would do is look up the home owner's information (it is public record, you can find it on the county's website) and give them a call. B-town is looking to pass some bad renter ordinance and the owner is responsible for the people living (or squatting for that matter) on their property. Yes, call the owner and complain. Also, if the cars are parked for longer than 3 days without moving, you can have them ticketed. As you can see, we had neighbor drama and I am well versed in the tactics....hence the move out of Bremerton!!

Nicole said...

Best shot is to find out who they rent from (and pray they don't own the house) and contact them. Usually the landlords have no idea what is going on. As we all know from my current (self-imposed) situation. I liked your watering the lawn idea but I would have taken the hose and watered there car directly. If you aren't that brave you could act like someone is calling you on your phone and totally maneuver your body as if you are forgetting you are watering the lawn and "oooops" the hose happens to be aimed at the open window. I have another far more elaborate plan that involves the help from young men and costuming. Let me know if you need my half-cracked brain.